Superglue
by neoEON
Summary: Shaymin was having a bad day.


A Challenge my nephew gave me after I blabbered on to him about one of Minda-Mew-Eevee's legendary fics that I currently forget the name of. Anyway, I was discussing how Shaymin was the evil prep of doom… And you know what? He challenged me to make her… not… happy. And it had to involve superglue. xD So here it is.

I don't own Pokemon.

**

* * *

**

**Superglue**

* * *

It wasn't always like this.

No; Shaymin could remember a time, to be exact, six o'clock that morning, when things had been comfortable. The little white hedgehog had curled herself up on a slab of rock, and had been ultimately comfortable with her dreary, desolate surroundings. The fact that the crags and cracks in the smooth stone's surface were her only company did not bother her – in fact, the Legendary relished the very thought of not being bothered by anyone but the silent, motionless, lifeless rock.

That, however, had changed very quickly.

The albino hedgehog had been snoozing comfortably on her rock, when suddenly, the earth seemed to give way under her furry frame, and she suddenly found herself in the lush, green grasses of some uncharted field. Stunned and in a ferocious state of shock, the Grass Legendary had merely glanced around her, large, saucer-like eyes blinking uncomprehendingly. In a sudden movement, her irises collapsed upon her pupil, and her forehead furrowed deeply, turning her eyebrows into a stern, flat line. Not only was the field covered in grass, something she would have easily been able to mind, as it was here element, but there were also _flowers_ in this little field. Somewhere, further in the distance, a Roselia and a Budew frolicked gaily near the receding tree line, not a care in the world.

"Now, all I need is _Giratina_," The Pokemon growled to herself, brow creating three deep lines in her fuzzy, adorable forehead. With a suffering sigh, she curled up into another of her trademark balls, and drifted off to an uncomfortable sleep.

But that was not the worst of the day.

Oh no, Shaymin was not quite as lucky as any other given Legendary. Her luck seemed to run short, shorter than the fuse of her temper and her impatience, even. She had awoken with an abrupt start to a slight tickling on her back, and the giggling of what could only be known as a Teddiursa. The sleeping Legendary blinked the grogginess from her eyes and stared at her short, cute little legs for a moment. Realizing that the giggling was not stopping, the Legendary jerked forward and spun around on her heels. The hedgehog glared at the Teddiursa, who blinked, frightened. In its small brown paw, all Shaymin saw, was her doom.

The Teddiursa was holding an exhausted tube of superglue, while the Bidoof beside it held random, forest-esque items. A small heap of leaves gathered under its fat little paws. The occasional twig stuck out of the pile, and delicately harvested pink flowers rested in a small heap beside the leaves. Without thinking, the angry Legendary charged the mischievous Pokemon, and chased them halfway to Oreburg before she realized what was on her back. Terrified, the hedgehog perched herself on a bank above a clear, mirror-like river, and dared herself to look in. What met her made her want to faint.

The Shaymin looking back was not a white hedgehog, but instead a white hedgehog with _leaves_ superglued to its back. Frantic claws tried to rip them from her soft, white fur, but her attempts were in vain. The steadfast bonding substance had already permanently attached the leaves to her back, and she knew at that point, she would be terrorized by the humiliation this undignified event sparked within the masses. She was no longer a white hedgehog that could strike _terror_ into whoever she crossed under the ruse of a cute, bouncy ball of fur. No! No longer could she frighten anyone but herself – because now, she was a ball of fur with leaves glued to her back.

As she plotted her elaborate scheme to hide herself from the rest of the Legendaries for the rest of her miserable, leafy life, Shaymin stumbled upon a bush. Now, if the bush had been like most bushes, she wouldn't have cared in the least. This bush was of the thorny, downright vile type, however, and nicked and poked the already depressed Shaymin with its evil, evil thorns. She squeaked and pulled herself from the wreckage, small claws reaching up to her head to make sure she was still in one piece. Happy, she continued searching for the smallest, most remote hidey hole in all of Sinnoh.

After an hour of stumbling over herself, she realized she was headed toward a city. Uncaring, the little Pokemon ran through the streets, hell-bent on discovering a nice nook under someone's house where she could remain hidden until the next plumber had to check the pipes that lead out from underneath the home. Grinning broadly, despite the circumstances, the Legendary wandered aimlessly through the commercial properties, before she stumbled upon a small square. The square was really more of a circle cut in half, the flat side resting to the east where numerous buildings, including a Pokemon Center and a Mart clustered, as well as some unlabelled, less colorful buildings. In the exact center of the semi-circle was a large fountain, and despite its beauty, it only made Shaymin more depressed. In the curved area of the square was a long, stretching row of benches, a few recycling bins, and an entrance to some sort of forest. In the square itself, however, were _humans_.

She had grown to hate humans – particularly because whenever one happened to see her, the first words out of their mouth were "_Oh my gosh, how cute!_" or, if she was particularly lucky, "_I wonder if I can catch that Pokemon…_". Little did the silly humans know, that behind her thin façade of utter cuteness was a deadly, chainsaw wielding creature that _yearned_ to have her own part in a particularly bloody slasher movie. There were three of them in total, two boys – one was taller, with dark blue hair, and the shorter one had bright green, spiked locks that defied gravity. Further off, unassociated with the two, was a young girl, who couldn't have been older than fourteen. Blue hair cascaded down to her jaw line, pulled back with black barrettes pulled her bangs to the left side of her face. A short, white dress ran down to her thighs and was adorned with black décor. She was busy cooing to an Abra. Ignoring them for the most part, Shaymin trotted as best as her short legs could over the cobblestone, toward the forest entrance.

"Oh my gosh, Zammy, look!" Why anyone would name an Abra '_Zammy_' was beyond Shaymin, and yet, here it was, right in front of her. "Look at that!"

The off-gold psychic tilted its head around its trainer to get a good look at her. Baring her small teeth, Shaymin continued on toward the forest. _Almost there, almost there,_ She chanted in her head, pumping up her tiny legs. There it was, three meters. Just a little longer… two meters… Her legs picked up speed as she zoomed across the cobblestone. _One meter_… She closed her eyes in anticipation, and before she knew it, she'd become stationary and began to fly. Confused, the small hedgehog wormed her way around and came face to face with the blue haired trainer. "Oh you poor thing," The girl said as she examined Shaymin's back, "Did someone stick leaves on you?"

The girl looked at the Abra, and Shaymin seized the opportunity to open her mouth and place her sharp teeth over the girl's hands that were clasped around her small stomach. "I think we should get these off of you." The girl amended and glanced over to the hedgehog, which froze. Perhaps, if this fickle human got her leaves off, then she'd be able to show her face publicly amongst the Legendaries without risking social isolation? Although, it wasn't like she didn't _want_ isolation… But humiliation was definitely not something she wanted. She closed her eyes and did her best to look cute.

It wasn't long before she found herself, upside down, floating on her back, in a large bowl of what smelled suspiciously like nail polish remover. "Acetone removes super glue," The unusually intelligent blue-haired human said. Her Abra sat on a barstool and stared unsettlingly at Shaymin. Shrugging it off, the Legendary glanced warily at the human, who only smiled obnoxiously.

"As soon as you're done, you'll feel _much _better."

Three hours later, Shaymin learned that you could never, ever, _ever_, trust fourteen year old humans.

She staggered through the group of Legendaries with chagrin, and tried her best to ignore the faint, badly-suppressed giggles as the Legendaries on the council noticed her furless back. While most Pokemon, when they glared, could only shoot daggers, Shaymin, when she glared, could easily shoot thirteen foot long, snaggletoothed spears. Currently, the razor-look was directed at Darkrai, who was staring at her, a twinkle in his only visible sea green eye that suggested the mind behind it was coming up with all sorts of unfathomable insults and snide comments he could throw her way.

Ahead of her, at the head of the marbled, white room, was Arceus herself, who was speaking with Giratina about none other than…

Superglue.

* * *

Haha. Here it is! I doubt I will ever willing write anything about Shaymin ever, ever again. Why? Because..

I hate Shaymin.

On a brighter note, I think my muse is coming backkkk:3


End file.
